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So much to say, so little to say
May. 2nd, 2017 03:26 pmI finally started the import for my old entries from LJ, so hopefully they come over here. All the early stuff is crap about how annoyed I was with college and how I should do homework...so basically everything up until 2005 is garbage. After that, I started to post about work and after that, wedding shit, then infertility stuff...and the last few years have been mostly bs, too. Sorry, internet. My boring memories must still be a part of you....
I'll get around to deleting the LJ soon enough, I hope.
I've been having *all the feels* about my friend Steve's death. I realize that he was 66, but it's still hit me so hard. The long and short is that he retired on 4/7 (his birthday) and fell into a bonfire the next day. He was airvac'd to Duluth from the hospital near their home/cabin, and then sent by ambulance back down here to the cities the next week. Had some skin grafts, was doing ok...and then just...got sicker. I should have gone to see him earlier. When I saw him, something was so wrong. He was in/out of consciousness, having spasms of pain, and running a fever of 105. When he died on Monday morning (4/24), I just couldn't believe it. I cried at my desk most of the day.
I've talked to his wife a few times and gone to see her. She's focused on him being a bigger thing in the universe now, which is great. Her kids ended up having a 2 hour service yesterday - basically a wake - which was good for me to have the closure I didn't think I needed. Seeing pictures of him as a kid, and with his kids - was amazing. So many of my old coworkers came up to me and hugged me and made it a point to let me know that he still talked about me all the time to them was so sweet.
Honestly, when I left that employer, I was *so* burned out. And now I miss it more than anything. The people there were GOOD PEOPLE. GOOD, GOOD PEOPLE. Who actually had ethics and honestly cared about each other. It just reminded me so much of how bad my current employer is with both of those things.
So, after leaving the wake and sitting in traffic due to a May 1 blizzard (oy), I was just crying and thinking about how much I need to leave this place, but how rejected I feel and how I don't even know what my next path should be.
All that aside, I need to pack up for the day and head home...but it feels good to just sort of get things off my chest. I really should start writing again.
I'll get around to deleting the LJ soon enough, I hope.
I've been having *all the feels* about my friend Steve's death. I realize that he was 66, but it's still hit me so hard. The long and short is that he retired on 4/7 (his birthday) and fell into a bonfire the next day. He was airvac'd to Duluth from the hospital near their home/cabin, and then sent by ambulance back down here to the cities the next week. Had some skin grafts, was doing ok...and then just...got sicker. I should have gone to see him earlier. When I saw him, something was so wrong. He was in/out of consciousness, having spasms of pain, and running a fever of 105. When he died on Monday morning (4/24), I just couldn't believe it. I cried at my desk most of the day.
I've talked to his wife a few times and gone to see her. She's focused on him being a bigger thing in the universe now, which is great. Her kids ended up having a 2 hour service yesterday - basically a wake - which was good for me to have the closure I didn't think I needed. Seeing pictures of him as a kid, and with his kids - was amazing. So many of my old coworkers came up to me and hugged me and made it a point to let me know that he still talked about me all the time to them was so sweet.
Honestly, when I left that employer, I was *so* burned out. And now I miss it more than anything. The people there were GOOD PEOPLE. GOOD, GOOD PEOPLE. Who actually had ethics and honestly cared about each other. It just reminded me so much of how bad my current employer is with both of those things.
So, after leaving the wake and sitting in traffic due to a May 1 blizzard (oy), I was just crying and thinking about how much I need to leave this place, but how rejected I feel and how I don't even know what my next path should be.
All that aside, I need to pack up for the day and head home...but it feels good to just sort of get things off my chest. I really should start writing again.
